don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
