im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
