I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
They took my balls.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
