I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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