ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers

  Fav 3 2899 737

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

  Fav 16 3183 836

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet

  Fav 24 2026 2336

  share tweet
  

• (626): View more from California

  Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

  Fav 24 18758 1370

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!

  Fav 10 1073 4715

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!

  Fav 4 1496 1049

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

  Fav 5 953 1315

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

  Fav 4 1485 1046

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.

  Fav 4 1205 630

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.

  Fav 4 1564 719

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.

  Fav 10 1062 686

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (616): View more from Michigan

  I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.

  Fav 2 468 841

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?

  Fav 1 491 888

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon

  Fav 1 155 133

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+10): View more from

  What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration

  Fav 1 64 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize