Your tits are I can't wait for
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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