And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
