That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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