She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
