Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
