i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
