party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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