i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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