Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
