So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
