Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
