Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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