You're earring is so big in my mouth
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
