About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
