I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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