He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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