wat bout pragnant strippers??
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
