if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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