i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
