; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hate all girls vehemently.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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