I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
