we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
