I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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