just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
