I think I won the penis lottery.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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