So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
