Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Houston, we have a blender
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
