Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
