What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
