i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
