so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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