I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
