You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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