best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
