It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
