Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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