There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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