yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
