...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
