all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
