Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
