Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
