marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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