Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Randomize
