hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
