woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
this hospital has no fireball
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
